Moving on

Last year I was told that I should just move on. This was not after a breakup in the romantic sense – and there’s lots of advice for that situation out there. This was not even after a breakup. That came much later.

But what I’m mulling about is whether the easily said phrase, “Just move on”, is a bit of a copout. It’s a facile thing to say when you want to avoid any discussion, especially when you yourself are implicated. I guess it may be a little like a relationship when one of the partners is actually saying: “I don’t want to go there”. Interestingly, the person who said this was a man, so it may be a man/woman thing. But I’ve known, and still know, men, my husband is one, who won’t shy away from a discussion when something important is at stake.

So the bottom line, methinks, is, that when someone tells you to “Just move on” they’re showing you that nothing is really at stake anymore. They’re actually confessing that they’ve got what they wanted out of you, and it’s “Ciao, Bella!” But they have not put themselves on the line to actually express that, and so there is no healthy closure.

It’s been tough.

It’ll still take some time, but I’m getting there. I’m getting there by surrounding myself with people who share my values, by rediscovering friends who’ve been waiting in the wings, ready to catch me, and by doing things I want to do with little heed for what others may think. Doing things my way. Doing things I love doing with no thought of what gains they may bring. Realising that it’s all about process and the rest will take care of itself.

I leave you with: Onwards!